In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m covering the heartbreaking case of Rachel Castillo, a young mother whose disappearance in Southern California led investigators to a devastating discovery, and ultimately, the conviction of her estranged husband, Zarbab Ali. As a forensic death investigator, I walk through how cases like this begin to unfold behind the scenes, how small pieces of evidence start forming a timeline, how investigators interpret behavioral patterns, and how critical those early investigative decisions become when someone suddenly disappears under suspicious circumstances.
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m covering the heartbreaking case of Rachel Castillo, a young mother whose disappearance in Southern California led investigators to a devastating discovery, and ultimately, the conviction of her estranged husband, Zarbab Ali.
Rachel vanished during what should have been a routine custody exchange involving her children. But almost immediately, investigators began uncovering signs that something was terribly wrong. What followed was an intense investigation involving surveillance footage, blood evidence, digital tracking, and a search that ended with Rachel’s body being found buried in a remote area.
As a forensic death investigator, I walk through how cases like this begin to unfold behind the scenes, how small pieces of evidence start forming a timeline, how investigators interpret behavioral patterns, and how critical those early investigative decisions become when someone suddenly disappears under suspicious circumstances.
This episode contains discussion of domestic violence, homicide, and burial concealment.
Listener discretion is advised.
00:06
Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I'm your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner.
00:24
Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, this is Julie with Pushing Up Lilies, and I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about going to CrimeCon. I've never even been as just a bystander.
00:45
What little I know about it, I have learned from my new podcast friend who have been there before. And this year, I didn't get on Creator's Road. That was my goal. It didn't happen. It's fine. We'll do it next year, y'all.
01:03
This year, I'm an exhibitor. It was rather expensive to be an exhibitor, which is fine. I feel like that's one way to get the word out, to allow people to see who I am and to learn a little bit about my podcast.
01:18
Maybe will give me a head start for next year. But this year, I'm in Exhibitors Hall and I'm in booth 62. I'm happy to announce that my, thanks to FMG Network and my producer, Jody Colvard, my comic book is going to be for sale, limited edition at my booth at CrimeCon this year.
01:44
So super excited about that. And we are leaving on Thursday. Haven't even packed. Don't know what I'm wearing. Completely unorganized. I have clinical tomorrow. Life is lifing and it's going to work out.
02:01
It always does. I've never been one to plan weeks and weeks ahead. Although I did have to plan a little bit in advance for CrimeCon because I did have to mail all of my merch like two weeks in advance.
02:14
So, UPS came and picked up 10 boxes from my home and delivered them at the warehouse in Vegas. They've all been delivered. I've gotten confirmation. So, they're there, which is, it's hard for me to kind of let go of that and make sure everything gets where it's supposed to be.
02:32
They all arrived. And so, I'm super excited that when we get there to our booth, we call and bring them over from the warehouse to our booth. And then we unload the boxes and then they take the empty boxes back to the warehouse.
02:45
It sounds like a well-oiled machine. We shall see. I am already getting ideas for next year. So, I guess that's the way it happens, right? When you start doing things like this. I'm getting some invitations to attend other conferences, which I so appreciate.
03:04
I do need to try to find some sponsors because these things aren't free and podcasting pays $0 an hour unless you have a sponsor. So, what little bit of monetary value that I'm getting from this now is just selling my merch.
03:21
So, if you are interested, all of my merch will be available on my website soon. And if you're coming to CrimeCon, stop by Booth 62 in the exhibitors hall and buy some. I would very much appreciate it.
03:34
Now, I do have to say, okay, we're leaving Thursday. We'll be back on June 1st. Caesar's Palace. It's going to be so fun. I have to say I'm a little bit nervous because, again, I've never been there, but everything seems to always kind of work out.
03:51
So, I'm trying not to sweat it and not to worry too much. But I do have to tell y'all that I discovered today that today is my 200th episode. So what I'm going to do, I'm going to post something about my 200th episode on Facebook and I will give you the opportunity to drop in your email, a private message me, your email, and that'll put you in a drawing for a giveaway.
04:19
I'm just feeling like giving stuff away. So, I feel like we need to celebrate in some way. 200 episodes is huge. That actually is a little less than four years. I think that that's a milestone. And y'all, I've done this in my closet floor on my laptop every week for four years.
04:42
If that's not commitment, I don't know what is. I would love your support. Follows and shares are amazing. If you know anybody who's interested in sponsorship, that would be even more amazing. But I look forward to seeing all of you who are planning to come to CrimeCon.
05:00
I want to talk this week about a case that makes you very angry, and a lot of them do. This one also makes you sad, as most of them do. There are a lot of cases that make you physically uncomfortable because they force you to look directly into the darkest corners of human behavior.
05:20
And this is one of those cases. This is the story of Rachel Castillo, and she was a 25-year-old mother, a graduate student, which I totally feel her pain, a woman trying to rebuild her life during a divorce.
05:37
And the man who decided that if he couldn't control her anymore, no one would. But this story doesn't stop with murder, because after Rachel was killed, buried in the desert, and left in a shallow grave, her estranged husband returned the next day.
05:56
And what he did next horrified even veteran investigators. Tonight we're talking about obsession, coercive control, domestic violence escalation, post-mortem sexual assault, and the forensic realities that investigators face in cases that most people can't even imagine.
06:18
This episode does contain some disturbing content involving homicide and abuse after death. Listener discretion is strongly advised. This happened in November of 2022, Semi Valley, California. Rachel Castillo was only 25 years old.
06:38
She was intelligent, ambitious, and according to friends and family, deeply devoted to her children. At the time of her death, Rachel was working toward a master's degree in clinical psychology. She wanted to become a marriage and family therapist.
06:54
And honestly, there's something especially heartbreaking about that. A woman studying how to help people navigate healthy relationships was trapped in what investigators later described as an increasingly toxic and dangerous marriage.
07:11
Now, Rachel and her husband, Zerbab Ali, were in the middle of a divorce. Now, if you've listened to this podcast before, you already know something important. That period surrounding separation and divorce is statistically one of the most dangerous times for victims of domestic violence.
07:31
Not during the relationship, not necessarily after the divorce is final, but during the leaving process. That's when the control begins slipping away. And for certain personality types, especially possessive, controlling, narcissistic, or obsessive individuals, losing control feels completely intolerable.
07:56
Rachel was trying to move forward with her life, and Ali was spiraling. The couple shared two children, and on November 10th, 2022, Rachel dropped the children off with Ali. Nothing really seemed unusual at first, but later that day, Rachel vanished.
08:20
And when her sister returned to the apartment that they shared, she walked into a nightmare scene. There was blood everywhere. There was a large amount of blood. Rachel's phone was there. Rachel's keys were there, along with her car, but no Rachel.
08:40
Immediately, investigators knew something was terribly wrong because people don't leave behind their phones and keys and vehicles voluntarily, especially mothers who have children. And so that's a huge red flag in missing persons investigations.
08:58
One of the first things investigators look for is what we call life interruption indicators. And those are things that suggest that somebody really didn't leave willingly. They abandoned their personal belongings.
09:15
Their plans were interrupted. They have unfinished activities. Their children are left unexpectedly. And there's blood evidence. And this scene had all of that. This scene consisted of all of those things.
09:34
Now, from a forensic perspective, the amount of blood matters and it matters a lot because investigators can often estimate whether injuries occurring at a scene were survivable. Large amounts of blood loss inside a home immediately raised concern for homicide or severe trauma.
09:55
At that point, law enforcement began searching for Rachel very aggressively, as they should have. And very quickly, suspicion centered on Ali, which honestly is not unusual at all. Statistically speaking, when a woman is murdered, the offender is most commonly a current or former intimate partner.
10:19
We all know that. We've watched forensic files. We know the drill. That statistic becomes even higher during separation. Three days later, on November 13th, investigators found Rachel's body. It was in a remote desert area in Antelope Valley, and it was buried in a shallow grave.
10:41
And shallow graves tell investigators a lot psychologically. People think burial equals planning, but it doesn't always because many shallow graves are actually signs of panic. It offers them the ability to conceal the body quickly.
10:59
It shows a sense of urgency because the body is buried shallow. And it shows emotion. The offender often wants the victim hidden fast but really lacks that emotional organization or time for deeper concealment.
11:16
So, in some cases, offenders also psychologically struggle to fully separate from the person or the victim. And that matters later in this story. Ali was arrested outside of his parents' home in Victorville later that same day.
11:35
And then came the confession. According to investigators, Ali admitted everything. He dropped the children off with his parents. Then he went to Rachel's apartment. The apartment was unlocked. And then he hid inside.
11:50
Think about how terrifying that is. Rachel had no idea that someone was waiting for her. No opportunity really to defend herself. No warning, no chance at all. Ali later admitted that he waited until Rachel entered her bedroom, and then he stabbed her three times.
12:13
Now, something I want people to understand, multiple stab wounds and domestic violence homicides often indicate rage. Overkill or even emotionally driven violence is obvious in cases like this. Stabbing also is deeply personal.
12:34
Unlike shootings, there's close proximity. They're close to this person. They're up close and personal. They don't have to stand far at a distance and shoot them. You feel resistance and you hear sounds and you see injuries almost happening in real time.
12:52
These are intensely violent acts. And I've talked about this before when I've gone on crime scenes. It's kind of eerie to stand in the middle of a room and feel the violence that took place there before you showed up.
13:06
And you can feel it. You can almost like imagine what happened. It's really odd if you've never been there. It's so hard to describe. But it's almost like you can walk through every step that happened prior to the homicide.
13:22
Now, after killing Rachel, Ali wrapped her body in a blanket. Now, that detail matters too, because sometimes covering or wrapping a victim suggests some emotional conflict. He didn't want to carry her out where he could see her body.
13:38
It can also represent remorse. It can represent possession and even some detachment or an attempt to really just avoid seeing the reality of what they've done. But then he transported her body into the desert and buried her.
13:58
But the next part in this case is what really kind of stunned investigators and honestly horrified the public. The following day, Allie returned to the grave. He dug Rachel's body back up and sexually assaulted her remains.
14:16
Even saying those words really feels heavy as an investigator. I know it's happened before. It's happened in cases that I've worked. But from a forensic standpoint, post-mortem sexual assault is kind of rare, but it absolutely does occur.
14:33
And oftentimes it reflects extreme pathology involving control, degradation, domination, or severe psychological disturbance. But what makes this case even more disturbing is Ali's explanation. So, during this taped interview, he told investigators, if I didn't commit to being a monster, then she would have died for no reason.
15:01
Now, let that sink in for a minute. That statement tells us a lot psychologically because he's reframing his own behavior into some twisted internal narrative. So essentially, he's saying, if I already crossed the line into murder, then I may as well fully become evil.
15:23
Like, why not? I've already gone this far. I've already killed her. Why not just make it a little bit worse? That is not rational thinking. That's distorted justification. And it's an offender attempting to assign meaning to his own violence.
15:40
Honestly, we sometimes see this in offenders who intellectually detach from empathy. They kind of create identities around violence, monster, predator, executioner. It allows them to psychologically distance themselves from accountability.
15:59
But let's be clear, Rachel did not die because of fate. She died because a man decided his jealousy mattered more than her life. According to reports, Ali admitted he was jealous of Rachel's relationships with other men.
16:18
He was unhappy about custody arrangements. He was unhappy about child support arrangements. He was unhappy about the living situation, his living situation. And again, these are classic escalation factors in domestic violence cases.
16:37
Loss of control. You've got financial resentment. You've got jealousy. You've got perceived humiliation. And then you've got that conflict of custody, which is a big deal. They're all major risk indicators.
16:56
And sadly, many victims underestimate how dangerous separation can be. What can happen during that separation period? Restraining order or no restraining order. Now let's talk about the forensic side of recovering a body buried outdoors.
17:14
We've talked about this a little bit before, but desert environments create a lot of unique challenges. Temperature fluctuations are going to greatly impact decomposition. Scavenger activity can be a concern.
17:29
Shallow graves allow for the release of odors that you may not get if someone's buried deeper. And insects, let's admit it, as much as we hate to, they gain access really quickly. And depending on the soil conditions, evidence preservation really varies pretty dramatically.
17:51
Investigators would have processed this grave site meticulously. They would have looked for soil impressions, tool marks, tire tracks, fibers, biological evidence. Every inch matters. And because Ali confessed relatively quickly, investigators really likely focused heavily on corroboration evidence.
18:19
Meaning, can a scene actually confirm the confession? Does it look like what he said happened actually happened? Because false confessions, while they're in common, actually do happen. So, investigators are going to always seek physical evidence that support the statements that the person who confessed made.
18:43
Now, one thing people often ask me in cases like this is, how do investigators determine that post-mortem assault occurred? So the answer depends on timing, condition of the remains, biological evidence, confession statements, and forensic examination findings.
19:02
But in this case, Ali pleaded guilty to sexual contact with the remains after death. Now, that plea itself is significant, but they would have done a sexual assault kit. They would have done trace evidence.
19:18
And they would have looked into all of those possibilities, especially to back up his confession. Now, emotionally, cases involving post-mortem abuse hit investigators differently. I've talked about compartmentalization and forensic work.
19:34
You learn to kind of emotionally separate yourself just enough so you can do your job. But some cases linger, especially when there's humiliation or degradation of the victim after death. Because once somebody's dead, they're completely defenseless.
19:54
And there's something psychologically horrifying about violence continuing beyond death itself. I think about Rachel's family and her sister finding the blood in the apartment and the terror of not knowing what happened and where she was, then the devastation of learning not only that Rachel had been murdered, but what happened afterward.
20:21
And I think about the children, because domestic homicide creates ripple effects that last generations. Those children lost their mother, and the father was the reason why. And that trauma really never fully disappears.
20:40
In November 2025, a jury actually convicted Ali of first-degree murder, meaning that jurors believed the killing was willful, deliberate, and premeditated. Premeditation matters from a legal standpoint for sure.
20:56
And hiding in the apartment and waiting for Rachel strongly supports the fact that this was premeditated. He was obviously waiting for her to get home. He planned on doing this. There was no surprise party planned.
21:11
There were no people in there ready to jump out and yell surprise. It was not her birthday. This strongly supports that this was premeditated. This was not a sudden provocation. This was willing and planned, and it was basically ambush.
21:32
So, Ali now faces life in prison without parole. And honestly, this case forces a lot of uncomfortable conversations about intimate partner violence because many people still imagine domestic violence as just visible bruises and screaming fights.
21:51
You know, I said this not too long ago. We used to always ask people when they came into the ER and we triaged them, do you feel safe at home? And that was an important question. And no, you might not always get the honest answer, but at least you gave that person the opportunity to tell you outside of the presence of the person who might be the abuser.
22:16
It's so important. And even at my med spa, y'all, I've seen bruises on clients and sometimes it's from like cupping at the massage therapist's office and I feel really stupid or they have what looks like a handprint on their arm.
22:32
And I just have to ask, like, is everything okay at home? Are you happy? How's your husband? What's going on? What's been, how's life? You know, just questions that kind of seem like not my business, but your clients become your friends, and you do care.
22:49
Coercive control looks a little bit quieter than the bruises and the fights and the screaming, monitoring the other person, possessiveness, isolation, jealousy that's disguised as love, manipulation from a financial standpoint, and intimidation, emotionally.
23:14
And when victims begin reclaiming independence, that's when the danger escalates. When women or men feel like it's time to move on, life as I knew it is over. I have a chance for a new beginning. That's when it gets dangerous.
23:34
That's when you're vulnerable. That's when you let your guard down. And that's when it gets real. One of the most dangerous myths is he would never really hurt her. And to be honest, many offenders don't physically assault victims before they kill them.
23:52
Some escalate suddenly during this separation period, which is why threats and observation and any behaviors that may seem like stalking and fixation really has to be taken seriously. As a forensic nurse, I also think a lot about prevention.
24:12
What interventions actually failed? Were there any warning signs? Had he threatened her before? Were there any behaviors that mimicked escalation behaviors? Were there any fear indicators? Could anyone have recognized the risk level?
24:30
And I want listeners to understand something really important. If someone becomes obsessed with control over you, if they can't tolerate boundaries, and if separation triggers intimidation and threats and stalking or desperation, that's not passion.
24:49
That person does not love you. That person is not there because they care about you. They're not watching you because they fear for your safety. That is danger. Real love does not punish independence.
25:06
Before we close, I want to talk briefly about the psychology of offenders who revisit burial sites, because returning to the scene is definitely something that investigators watch for. Offenders will revisit for several different reasons.
25:25
Remorse, fear of discovery, reliving the crime, attachment to the victim, or continued domination. And in this case, the return was part of continued violence. That psychologically suggests that the homicide alone really didn't satisfy his emotional need for control.
25:49
And that's really disturbing. And it's also rare. Rachel Castillo should be alive. She should be finishing graduate school. She should be raising her children, and she should be building a future. But instead, her story becomes evidence and a case file and a crime scene.
26:13
So, she's not just a victim, but she's a woman whose future mattered. Again, always remember, if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there are resources available. There are nationwide resources as well as resources in your area.
26:32
There are shelters that you can go to to stay in. And I'm not saying this only happens to females either. There are male victims. I've done sexual assault cases on them. They do exist, but there are resources.
26:49
In the United States, the national domestic potline is available 24 hours a day. So, you're not overreacting for taking threats seriously. Trust your instincts. Even if you're a friend of someone who's going through this, trust your instincts.
27:08
Safety planning can actually save your life or the life of your best friend or your neighbor or an acquaintance or just someone. I guess the most important takeaway from this is to stay aware and stay curious and don't ignore the red flags.
27:30
You know, people many times in the middle of a domestic violence situation will try to explain away everything that happens. I've been there. I've done that. Everything's fine. They were in a bad mood.
27:46
They had a bad day. Work sucked. Like life is lifing as it does. And we all have bad days, but we don't go kill our partner. We don't go bury them in a shallow grave. I know all the police officers will tell you that domestic violence calls are the most dangerous.
28:07
This case kind of, I mean, it's sick. I'm so glad that he was sentenced. So glad. And, you know, you always kind of fear that the jury is not going to understand and the jury is going to think something other than what they're told.
28:25
And they're not going to be able to come to a unanimous decision that this person deserves life in prison. But people who think like this do not need to be walking around in the mall with your kids or your friends or your spouse, male or female.
28:45
Stories like this, just, they kind of hit home and it just reminds you how important it is to kind of watch for warning signs. Keep an eye on your friends. Keep an eye on your neighbors. I'm not saying this happens in every household because it doesn't, obviously, but it happens.
29:04
It can be happening next door. If you hear yelling, if you see a friend with a bruise, if a friend tells you their spouse lost their temper and hit them and it's the first time it's ever happened and it'll never happen again.
29:16
And he apologized profusely, and keep an eye on him. Just keep an eye on him. And that separation phase, how many times, Shanann Watts, how many times have we heard a story of their divorcing, they're unhappy?
29:34
If I can't have you, no one can. And so, this kind of thing happens, unfortunately, more times than I can say. So again, super excited about CrimeCon. Cannot wait. Again, I apologize. I'm trying so hard to keep up with my Facebook messages and my emails.
29:57
I'm trying so hard. It's difficult. Grad school is consuming most of my day about three days a week. And the meds boss consuming three more. I try to spend the one that's left over with my husband, who is so graciously sweet and loves to help me.
30:18
And I would love if y'all would, his name is Mike. I would love if you would come meet him at my booth because he is my biggest cheerleader. Again, I am really looking forward to meeting some of you at CrimeCon.
30:29
Please come visit my booth. I would love for you to get a signed copy of this new comic book that I'm super excited about. Still working on writing my book, trying to do all the things, and I just can't wait.
30:42
I'm super excited. Watch for my Facebook, Pushing Up Lilies. It's going to have a way for you to actually sign up for the opportunity to win some merch. And that's in celebration of my 200th episode.
30:59
Again, we've been on the air for almost four years, y'all. It's crazy. It's crazy to think about. Four years of $0 an hour. I know I think about that all the time. I'm like, gosh, I do so much research and I sit and I record and I download and of course, pay my producer and order merch.
31:20
Merch is really right now the only way that some podcasters are monetizing their efforts. I encourage you to go online and subscribe to my YouTube channel. It's not really active yet. There's some audio on there.
31:36
Brains, Body Bags, and Bedside Manor. You can probably find it if you search Pushing Up Lilies on YouTube. But I would love for you to go ahead and subscribe. When I start, the more subscribers I have, the easier it is for me to start monetizing that.
31:54
And I will start doing videos, I promise. So, it's just like, oh, right now it's so difficult, y'all. It's so hard when you've got school and all the things. And I do it to myself. So, I'm not complaining.
32:06
Love y'all so much. I'm so happy that you are a part of my tribe. And I look forward to seeing you at CrimeCon. And if not, I look forward to talking to you next week. Bye, y'all. Thank you so much for joining me today on Pushing Up Lilies.
32:24
If you like this podcast and would like to share with others, please do me a quick favor and leave a review on Apple Podcast. This helps to make the podcast more visible to the public. Thanks again for spending your time with me and be sure to visit me at pushinguplilies.com for merchandise in past episodes.